Imprecise language – The landing page above-the-fold is vague. When you start saying words like “unique” it means you don’t know what else to say. If networking is a primary focus for attendees, emphasize that. Also, the line breaks are pretty weird. This headline should be shorter. How about: “A conference for cargo industry hackers and VCs”
Loading takes forever – I didn’t pull up dev tools for this one, but this site was loading junk long after most of the content was loaded. Probably not good for users. But also, this page doesn’t do anything, so why do you need to load a bunch of junk? This would be fine as a static lander with analytics.
Boring hook – “Interested in the Air Cargo Industry” is a terrible hook!
These lines are a snoozefest….
The whole line is poorly written because it doesn’t say anything. It starts to hint at why one might want to go when it lists who it’s for.
The true purpose? – Quite far down the page, we finally get an idea of what this event is for.
This is the interesting part, but it’s at the bottom!
Looks like it’s pairing tech folks with VC folks and for doing tech stuff in the cargo industry. This is the most interesting info on the page and has the highest signal-to-noise ratio, but it’s buried at the bottom.
Background is kind of hideous – The background on this is so dark! It has nothing to do with the cargo industry and the busyness is distracting. Not sure this is going to appeal to a common denominator attendee.
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